Spinning In Circles

I grew up flailing my arms and spinning in circles.  I missioned my heart off twice a week to catch emotions that dizzy-ed through disguise after disguise.  Exhausted, my heart sat still for many years shuffling through 3 by 5 cards of vocabulary words, trying to decode love’s true hideaway.

That was close, I’ll try again:

I have sensitive emotions.  They are triggered easily.  Without a dusty, real ground to settle into, I am all wine with no vine.  Growing up requires connection.

Speech

“We are looking or listening here for speech that will affirm and open the way to life, for a speech that can be playful and not just useful, for words that disturb and change us not because they threaten but because they ‘fit’ a reality we are just beginning to discern.  If communities of faith took language this seriously, they would be extraordinary signs of transformation.”

–Rowan Williams, Archbishop of Canterbury
Where God Happens: Discovering Christ in One Another
New Seeds Books, Shambhala Publications, Inc.
(c) 2005 for A World Community of Christian Meditation

Williams writes this in the middle of a section on fleeing from the tongue, from one’s own mouth and words.  He equates silence with those moments when the sun is rising and we don’t want to say anything for fear of ruining the beauty.  He also relates fleeing and silence to the process of writing poetry.  Truly, I have seen poets wait in long bouts of silence for the most direct, most penetrating words in order to miss triteness and hit truth.  This is a stark reminder to me to be ever thoughtful of my speech so that I can indeed be blessed with new reality for myself and my neighbors as my days proceed.

Hiding Faults

“At the moment when we hide a brother’s fault, God hides our own.  At the moment when we reveal a brother’s fault, God reveals our own.”

–Abba Poemen

The reality is when I say, “This is how you hurt me” she replies, “That is how you hurt me, too.”

Holiness

“Holiness–or wholeness as people prefer to say today–requires a degree of inner and outer peace that respects the at times conflicting, though not contradictory, demands of body, mind, and spirit.  The first requirement for this peace or harmony is order in human living and a right use of time.”

Laurence Freeman

Note to self: The little things make a difference in the big picture.

Out of the Library

Where God Happens: Discovering Christ in One Another by Rowan Williams, Archbishop of Canterbury
The Cloister Walk by Kathleen Norris
Selected Poems by W.S. Merwin
Persuasion by Jane Austen
Cables to the Ace by Thomas Merton

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