Things I learned while watching The Bachelor:

• Be open.
• Sometimes love really is like skydiving, repelling down a building, etc; you really do have to leap off of some internal ledge.
• Speaking what’s on your mind makes a world of difference; if you see something good, say something good.

Things I learned while watching The Bachelorette:

• Your gut can be wrong.
• You have to hear the words, not just speak them.
• A good guy knows how to take a deep breath, look you in the eye, and say something real.  Then, a keeper will act on it.
• There is definitely something to be said for consistency.

These may not be hard and fast rules to live by.  I am clearly not an expert on relationships.  TV is clearly manipulated and manipulative.

However, there is some truth here that I would do well to remember in the coming months.  Someone once asked me about my weaknesses in relationships and I said, “This little heart of mine.”  I said it right off the cuff, but it was so true.  My heart seems to get me into as much trouble as is does reward.  My heart just goes for it, gets beat up a little, and gets scared.  So the next time an opportunity arises, my heart shies away.  I sometimes wonder if I’ve missed somebody on those off times.

Of course, it’s all in God’s time and good time and all of that, but as summer really starts to rev up, I think I’m ready to go again.  Despite the hang ups and the confusion and the crazy feeling of being a contestant in my own life, here I am.  I’m running off my own tower of insecurities with only a little hope to get me safely back to the ground.  Hope that I want to employ to keep my heart open to someone who could be a real, true parachute.

Here’s a bit of a song from a few years ago:
I choose to dive to the ocean, running right off of this mountainside.
Yes, I know you don’t think love has wings for a heart my size.
But I still want to know just how far I’ll go
If I fly a little, try a little.
Watch me fly.

I guess some things just don’t change about a person.