On Thursday, I was checking out books at the library (the ones you recommended) and I caught myself bursting into the most simple of smiles.  I uncontrollably, and very sappily, blurted to the librarian, “I love coming to the library.  I just love it.”  And with my mittened hand to my winter-coated heart, I added, “I love it so much that I couldn’t keep from telling you that.”  This kind, middle-aged librarian and her slightly older co-worker smiled sweetly back at me in my childlike state.  “That makes our night,” they said and I could see honesty in their eyes.  It held me.

As I walked out into the snowy evening, I rolled that conversation around in my head a few more times until it came out as a pie.  I put 5 cups of flour, 5 tablespoons of butter, 1/2 a cup of cold water, a pinch of salt, and a pinch more of sugar into a bowl.  I stirred it up and put it the fridge.  Then I took my 8 most truthful pears from all corners of the world, peeled them, sliced them, and arrayed them in a deep bowl.  I doused them to taste with cinnamon, nutmeg, brown sugar, and a teaspoon or two of cloves because honesty is flavored by our personal pallets.

I rolled out my crust from my tip toes to my finger tips and laid half of it in a glass pie pan.  In went the pears, on went a cup of chopped pecans, and over went the other half crust.  I pinched the sides to hold in the truth, the honesty, the realness.  I cut a heart in  the top, and a few stars to guide it home to a friend.  Brushing on the egg wash, I gave my pie a smile and wink.  “You’ll be all beautiful and golden, Honesty.”  Then it went into the oven for a good 75 minutes of 375 degrees Fahrenheit.

I shared my honesty with a few friends last night.  I shared it in the form of library pie, fresh whipped cream, violin strings, Pavlova’s tutu, flower skirts, elderberry syrup, drums, texted poetry, sketch books, and circuit board wallets.  It held me.  The honesty held me most.

The Beginning

2.5 cups flour
2 tbs butter
1/4 cup cold water
1/4 powdered sugar
MIX, DIVIDE INTO TWO, ROLL OUT, REFRIGERATE when not using

The Sweet Part

MELT
1/2 cup Ghiradelli chocolate chips
POUR into bottom of The Beginning
COVER chocolate with
1/4 cup crushed walnuts

The Big Part

ON THE STOVE COMBINE
2 cans cherry pie filling
1/2 cup red wine
sprinkle of ginger
sprinkle of cinnamon
Then POUR this over The Sweet Part

The Sweet Part Revisited

MELT 1/4 cup chocolate chips
POUR over The Big Part
POUR 1/4 cup crushed walnuts over the chocolate

The Finale

LATTICE the top crust and EGG WASH it
BAKE pie at 378 degrees for about 30 minutes
DRIZZLE chocolate over the lattice

The Analysis

SERVE with WHIP CREAM or VANILLA ICE CREAM

The Hidden Crust

COMBINE
2.5 cups flour
6 tablespoons butter
6 tablespoons shortening
pinch of salt
pinch of your own secret (cinnamon, ginger, cocoa powder…)
a splash of cold water
CHILL then ROLL OUT at appropriate time

The Hidden Inside

PEEL, SLICE thinly and DUMP into a big bowl
4 pears of your choice (red or green)
2 peaches of your choice (mild or strong)
4 shakes of cinnamon
3 shakes of nutmeg
1/2 a finely grated fresh ginger
3 tablespoons of flour
3 tablespoons brown sugar
MIX these

The Hidden Secrets

ROLL TWO PIE CRUST circles
each between two sheets of wax paper
in order to be able to smoothly
lay the crusts into the pan
and then over the filling.

CUT A CLEVER PICTURE
into the top crust, then
EGG WASH it. (one egg yolk and water mixture)

BAKE the pie at 375 DEGREES
about 30 MINUTES, or until
it’s GOLDEN BROWN

SERVE HOT with VANILLA ICE CREAM

As I taught an Eighth Grade English class the meaning of the word panacea, I decided that I do indeed believe chocolate is a panacea.  Here’s my formula for a drinkable wintertime, evening time, good time, or sorry time panacea:

IN A SAUCE PAN combine
1/4 cup cocoa powder
1/2 cup white sugar
generous sprinkling of cinnamon
MELT together on MEDIUM HEAT
STIRRING constantly with a WHISK
ADD
3-4 cups of milk, your preferred thickness and chocolate-ness
TURN UP THE HEAT
HEAT through the milk

makes about 4 cups of panacea