In the Meantime

freshman year, Wheaton College, still applies

Yet another huge year for me was 2001.  I dove into Wheaton College not knowing what I was getting myself into.  I came from a small town without much background in studying hard or studying the challenging issues.  I just wanted to be smart and well-educated and I figured Wheaton could help me out.

But then I arrived to find my classmates already studied up and opinionated.  I thought, “I am doomed.  If I must say something let it be along the lines of a hmm.”  And while I struggled with my head, heart, focus, and desires (like most other 19 year olds), all I truly sought was peace and steadfastness.

We don’t always see peace coming, but it comes.  Mine arrived little moment by little song.  I began to hear God’s voice singing quietly and gently over my bed at night.  This was a welcomed contrast to the singing, jumping, spinning and dancing God I learned as a teenager (Zephania 3:17).  I didn’t relate to that God.  No, I needed God in lullaby form and He knew it.  And in His great love and enjoyment, God sat with me, delivering me peaceful notes.

The handwriting that you can’t read at the bottom is the following verse from God Moves In A Mysterious Way, a hymn that quickly became a favorite in 2001 and hasn’t moved from such a place in my heart:

His purposes will ripen fast, unfolding every hour.
The bud may have a bitter taste, but sweet will be the flower.

I have a whole new set of struggles these days, ten years later.  I have a whole new understanding of seeking peace.  And although I never know exactly what is in store for me next, I know that God reveals his purposes in good and appropriate time.  I have seen it again and again.  When bitterness touches my tongue, I know that sweetness will eventually rise in all my senses.  And in the meantime, Can I call you Father?

I did record this song with R.M. and some lovely, patient Wheaton guys that year.  We ended the piece with the hymn.