Grit Like Mary

Motherhood takes grit. I think it’s the grittiest thing I’ve done, aside from being a wife—which also takes a lot of grit.

On those days, when I’m digging deep for one more scrap of “stick-with-it,” those are the days when I feel most significant, when I really feel like a mother that matters. But I don’t do that digging in my own strength. That grit that causes me to dig a little more comes from other mothers. I turn my eyes outside myself to the camaraderie and influence of other moms I know have been there.

But do you know who I think the grittiest mom is? She’s that mom that we’ve been talking about for a couple of millennia. The young mother who traveled a dangerous road on a donkey while quite pregnant and gave birth in a messy, stinky stable. I’d say she had a pretty gritty start to motherhood and it didn’t end there. Mary, the mother of God, had true grit.

Mary walked a road none had ever walked before. It was difficult, mind-bending, dangerous, and filled with eternal ramifications. And she walked it well—head held high and heart open wide.

While some Christians only talk about Mary during the Christmas season, it is worth knowing that May is actually the month of Mary in many traditional Christian circles. So it is really appropriate for mother’s day to be in right in the middle of May.

So how gritty was Mary, really?

First, there is the conception and bearing of Christ. In this time, Mary generated Christ into the world. She physically grew and nourished Christ. She cooked vegetables for him, bathed him, taught him, prayed with him, worshipped with him, told him stories of the faithful, and on and on for a couple of decades. Even this fully God, fully human child learned from his mother. And even though he was the most magnificent being in the universe, Mary valued teaching him all the steps of walking toward God from the small, simple ones to the incomprehensible, complicated ones. She brought God right alongside her as she worshipped God. Mindbendingly bold. Gritty.

Second, we see Mary present when Christ begins his ministry. She nudges him forward and urges others to listen to him. She has recognized his position, his purpose, and his capabilities. Jesus was a very capable 30 year old man when he began his ministry, not to mention the fact that he was God, but Mary knew that her role as a mother was not diminished by these things. This was a gritty and audacious move on her part. She saw the necessity of pointing out the goodness of God in Christ and she did not hold back. Showcasing good, showcases God and that requires grit, too.

Third, we see Mary at the cross with Christ. Here, she suffers with him. She weeps with him. She stays with him. She sits in the darkness and is shaken by the earth quake. She does not deny him. Christ bore the cross not only of sin, but also persecution, injustice, grief, loss, strained relationships, and spiritual darkness. How strong Mary must have been to say near him and continue to attend to him. When she looked at the pain and suffering of her son, she remained intimately close. And Christ looked down in the midst of his deepest suffering to address his mother. Indeed, Christ loves the mother steady and prayerful at his feet. He knows what grit it takes to remain faithful in the suffering.

Finally, we see Mary at the resurrection and, this is important, at Pentecost. When the Holy Spirit descends, Mary is there. She is there for the victory. She is there for the fulfillment of Christ’s promises. And she is there as a leader. Those present were transformed by the Holy Spirit and THEN sent out to complete their apostolic missions, bringing Christ to the world through preaching, teaching, miracles, and more. Mary was there. She did not quit in the exhaustion of childhood, she did not quit in the excitement of beginnings, she did not quit in the sorrow of suffering, nor did she quit in the satisfaction of the great resurrection joy. She continued on, knowing that her work as a mother was not done when Christ ascended. To see the seeming end, recognize that greater things are yet to come, and stick around to pray in and see that fulfillment, that is grit.

So we see this very consistent, and I think, very gritty, Mary. She never gives up on or denies the Christ, her child. And what’s more, she consistently leads the way to him. She is always bringing others along: Joseph, shepherds, wedding guests, servants, the poor and marginalized, the mourners, the church leaders, and the world.

Mary’s work was hard. She walked a path none had walked before her. There were no models of mothers of God for her to follow. She was the one and only. She recognized the vitality of her unprecedented motherhood. So I think she tied her sandals up tight and mothered without shame or guilt, but with grit. With lots and lots of grit.

God, in this new day, help me to see my children, unique and God-made, and to mother them like Mary did your son, with grit and confidence, pointing the way to You.